Scribbles in the Margins

fiendish_thingy @ 2009-12-13T21:21:00

2009-12-13T21:22:12Z

Wow. So. We have incredible friends.

Long story short, we just spent about an hour looking for Julia's engagement ring (which had flung from her finger in the midst of a particularly emphatic gesture) in the grass of the common. We cordoned off what, in retrospect, turned out to be a ludicrously large area, swept it meticulously... and finally found it less than a foot from the paved path.

We had a well-deserved mulled wine to celebrate. And, hopefully, we'll watch the rest of Half-Blood Prince after foods. :D

fiendish_thingy @ 2009-12-11T16:32:00

2009-12-11T16:33:14Z

OMG I'm remarkably drunk.

I've just arrived home (read: arrived home about 30 min. ago) with Remus after having 1.) taken a few shots of rum straight with vanilla and 2.) ---

...

Okay. Though the task of chronicling my epic night of epic drinking was clearly of dire importance to me last night I was pulled away from the computer for one reason or another and, soon after, found myself incapable of getting off the bed, much less finishing this post. But since the above made me LOL upon waking I figured I'd keep it -- and, to an extent, finish it.

So after the rum (tasty, tasty) -- //Tesco's// brand, no less. We don't cotton to the fancy stuff in our household! (Actually, we rather do, but that's another story.) -- Remus and I stumbled forth in the direction of Clare for the formal Christmas dinner, part one of two. The second part (as we applied for both of them) is tomorrow night. As it was a black tie affair we wore our best black ties and I was be-waistcoated. :) There we had pre-dinner champagne in the MCR and, over some damned fine food, white and red wine and some port. And then it was back to the MCR for a post-dinner glass of mulled wine and a bit of smokey, smokey whisky.

And, by the by, Remus pennied me with the dinner wine, the bastard. Twice.

I had my first soused "OMG I LOVE YOU, MAN!!1!" moment, made complete by my crying on April's shoulder as I said it.

We sang Christmas carols along with the choir and I attempted to prevent Remus from 'raver dancing' during our rendition of Oh Come All Ye Faithful.

I pulled my first Christmas cracker -- April told me that he's grateful that I'm such an anglophile as I was the one who knew WTF the 'decoration' was and what to do with it -- and I got a little plastic frog. I named it Trevor. :) (And this was just hours after reading a very sweet Snape/Neville pre-slash that popped up on my f-list. I'd //never// considered that pairing but I have to admit, I squeed by the end. Just a little.)

April and I managed to drag the mattress from the bedroom into the living room so that we could sleep under the lights of our wee Christmas tree.

We drunk texted our friend (and almost dropped by her flat) to ask for a cup of sugar. And mugwort. For magick. Yes. For magick. LOLz.

Add an impromptu Quest for Chocolate at Sainsbury and a few other random antics and... wow. What a night. I'm still a little dumb from it all.

Only under a cut because I love you guys and don't want to //completely// spam your f-lists.

fiendish_thingy @ 2009-12-08T11:32:00

2009-12-08T11:32:55Z

Hey all,

Just a note to say that I'm working on the card(s) -- and to acknowledge the peeps who sent me PMs and comments. :) I //should// have them sent out soon.

In the meantime... OMG, Christmas shopping. I have so few presents taken care of. Some will be bought, some will be joint gifts, some will be gift art... but the fact remains that most of it has yet to be done.

I should be back in California on the evening of the 15th in any case. What does this mean? It means I'll be scrambling to see my friends and family, soaking up the time with them -- I've been a bit homesick lately -- but it //also// means that I'll be online at more reasonable hours (or 'more reasonable' for my fellow North Americans, anyway). I'll be hitting up the MU*s and, in all likelihood, much more available for RP. In fact, I'll be jonesing for it. Damned timezones. Damned Cambridge firewall on the home connection. :P

Holiday Cards?

2009-12-03T12:04:10Z

I'm a bit late on this but... Anyone want to exchange holiday cards? I'm going to draw some up and get them in the mail either late this week or next. They might be a bit silly -- I don't know what I'm going to draw just yet. It'll come to me.

In any case, if you want one, PM me you address. And I'll gladly give you mine if you're sending out cards as well. :)

In which I have random Snapely Dreams.

2009-12-03T11:29:44Z

Okay. More weird dreams, though these were a little more LOLworthy than last night's. And fandom related as well!

So. I had a dream that I was Snape. This, as you might have guessed, wasn't the first time. But there was also a sense layered on top of the billowing robes and greasy hair that I was role-playing. (As a note, I've never LARPed -- I always felt that my shyness would prevent me from participating/expressing myself in all the required ways. Embodying Snape at Azkatraz over the summer, though not LARPING and not quite cosplay -- rather more than cosplay, actually -- might have changed my mind a bit on that score. Time will tell.)

I remember stalking the halls of... wherever the hell I was (wherever the hell the RP was set), my black robes flaring out dramatically in my wake. Of course. Because what sort of Snape would I be without creepy hall-stalking? I think I'd just finished a Potions class 'scene' (or, for some reason, had given the class a break -- LOL not a particularly Snape move, I'll admit) and I had the feeling I'd done a pretty good job with the character. But my hall-stalking was focused -- I'd left to find someone or do something before the second scene. So vague and unhelpful. Meh. In any case, I'd planned on sweeping into the classroom, letting the door slam behind me, just to start things off with -- ha! -- a bang and get in character. Unfortunately I realized, rather suddenly, that I was already in the classroom, that I'd been zoning out all the way in and that the students were all eyeing me. I wasn't in the mindset for the scene anymore and, worse, I wasn't really in the character's mindset; I was suddenly totally unprepared and when I attempted to go on as usual I stammered and forgot the spiels I'd planned.

And Blick, I blame you, dammit. Because one of the students pulled a You and got all antagonistic -- fist-fight status. XD Just as I was trying to deal with the little prat one of the other students spoke up OOC -- "You have a better voice (better vocabulary? That was the implication, anyway) than that.", meaning that I was DOIN IT RONG. And I knew it. So I just apologized to everyone, said I was tired and not in the mood for the scene. Overall they were pretty neutral, the lot of them, but one of the girls ended up expressing sympathy and befriending me and... it sort of spirals off into vague thoughts and images. So. Scene.

Man, I need to RP. Though the dream spiraled into weirdness and, probably a subconscious critique of my levels of self-confidence and my methods of operation, I rather enjoyed embodying Severus in all his sneering glory. I miss my regular RP schedule. :p

fiendish_thingy @ 2009-12-02T11:45:00

2009-12-02T11:45:46Z

So I think I'm getting a cold. I woke up this morning (from a dream in which I threw up no less, though it was a little more complicated than that) to find that the back of my nose -- where my nasal passages connect to my throat -- is sore, dry and a little swollen. Most unfortunate.

On a positive note, however, I started carving away at my (generalized) statement of purpose last night as I was playing editor to April and in the process I remembered for one glowing moment or two that, yes, I actually can write. I also have a fic idea that'll hopefully be longer than a drabble/double-drabble. And speaking of drabbles, I'm considering posting one of the other ones that I scribbled into my little ~~Advanced Potionmaking~~ sketch book. And-and... I have a harpy drawing. :| I'd like to post it too.

Until then, I'm going to cast about for something suitable to wear out to English breakfast with Remus and Lily and, perhaps, see if I can steal a few more moments with the book on text-based gaming that I checked out from the UL. My God, I really am rather a bookworm.

fiendish_thingy @ 2009-11-28T05:04:00

2009-11-28T05:04:59Z

Okay, so I'm starting to get bad at this updating thing again. So. Time to update.

I've been writing a bit lately -- fiction, drabbles+ no less -- and so I thought I'd actually pluck up the courage to post them. One at a time though, if only because I only have one handy anyway. Also: This is where I unveil my Snapely Holidays submission (which I just sent off). I got a bit distracted, what England, grad school considerations and general craziness and stress and I had to ask for an extension. In any case, the double-drabble-plus goes with the drawing.

Damn. I haven't written for a while and I realized that, despite months upon months upon //years// of RP, I'm still rusty. But it feels good to write in any case.

My name falls from him in elegiac whispers and I can tell that the two syllables pain him every bit as much as the scars that stretch over the curve of his bare neck. They say that time heals, that wounds fade to scars as if that scarring over should bring the comfort of numbness with it. But we both know, he and I, that some scars ache more with each passing year, that some wounds never fully close.

A whiff swells up from the half-full glass in his hand as I trace my tongue across the old punctures one last time. I’ve never had much of a taste for whisky and the scent of it makes my nose twitch as it fills my nostrils. I pull away hesitantly, trailing my fingers over his skin, through his lank hair and I feel him go rigid under my touch. He doesn’t seem to hear me as I mutter something about needing to leave, that this is Christmas, after all, and that there are others who will be expecting me before the evening’s completely worn out -- but as I turn to go I swear that I catch an aborted glance in my direction. He stands alone, stoic as ever and I’m forcibly reminded of the cold stone gargoyles, broken and forgotten, on the high corners of a cathedral near the place where I was born.

As I slip through the door I can hear him sigh, hoarse and ragged through the great hollows of his nose, and it's all I can do to step out into the cold December night.

LOL.

2009-11-18T13:10:30Z

God. So I'm up. I'm writing (Yay!). But I'm at a bit of a stand-still for the moment and need to get my creative juices flowing again. So? I started another idle search on that wonderful place that is YouTube. And I found this, which I hadn't seen since theatres.

Despite my emetophobia I had to LOL. God, Snape, you unflappable bastard.

fiendish_thingy @ 2009-11-16T11:31:00

2009-11-16T11:32:03Z

So... Yeah. I'm not dead. I've just been absorbed into daily life here in... ENGLAND OMG.

It still makes me squee at times. At this point my Magical Rail Pass has expired so I'm through with my free and easy travel throughout the land. But I've seen a good many things at least. I'll elabourate later perhaps when I'm in more of a writing mood. There's just been so much -- so much cosplay, so many day trips, so much //everything//. And still I've been feeling restless, due in large part to the deadlines creeping ever closer for grad school application. (Yes, I've realized that I want to (and, moreover, am capable of) applying to grad school, especially out here in the Land of Tea and Crumpets.)

On a related note, I've come to terms with quite a lot of my issues -- issues that so very often cause me to stagnate, paralyze me in place and prevent me from taking risks because I don't feel I'm capable in the least. And, of course, there's my guilt at not having overcome these things sooner (and having still not overcome them). WTF neuroses. At least I'm realizing how much I have to push myself to overcome all of this crap.

In any case, I've been pretty successful at negotiating this new trans territory (not so new anymore, really). I've been living, for the most part, as a male here in England, and it's rather liberating -- and no doubt rather confusing for anyone in earshot when they hear April and Julia alternately call me Crystal or Severus (in and out of costume). Funny that: I'm actually rather used to being called Severus/Sev and, in fact, rather enjoy it. The things one gets used to.

fiendish_thingy @ 2009-10-01T07:56:00

2009-10-01T15:17:16Z

So... I just woke up and figured I'd type out a few notes on my dreams since at least one of them is pretty sweet.

I dreamt I was in London with April and Julia. We rode the London Eye at night... but were strapped in not unlike on a carnie ride (as opposed to the neat little pods one actually rides in). It felt as though we were flying. I could sense that April was growing quite terrified as we steadily gained altitude, though she'd fallen silent as a corpse where she was strapped in to my immediate right. Just before we reached the crest of the loop, I strained to get my hand over to hers, taking it as I murmured, "It's okay, babe. You're alright."

But I must admit, even I got a little frightened when I actually looked down. But I couldn't stop laughing because I felt as though I was flying. And I couldn't think of anywhere I'd rather be. It was beautiful.

I've been quiet lately but...

2009-09-27T14:19:04Z

I'm going to England, I'm going to England, I'm going to England. OMG OMG OMG.

That is all.

Yay!

2009-09-03T23:57:07Z

I have my assignment for the Snapely Holidays exchange! Now to get drawing...

fiendish_thingy @ 2009-09-03T13:05:00

2009-09-03T20:25:03Z

My tailbone feels as though it's bruised or cracked and I'm left to wonder WTF I did to it last night. :P I just hung out at a bowling alley with my friends and played audience member to my karaoke-ing friends (and later moshed a little to a punk karaoke, LOL). Nothing really hard on the tailbone.

Ah well.

In other news, I've been drawing a little recently, some fandom stuff (working on a Voldie :D ) and some original. I finally feel a bit inspired and I drew what I consider to be my first good creature design in a while. I might post some stuff eventually.

On the heels of Lizard Spot's post...

2009-08-22T18:18:44Z

I'm trying to decide which holiday fests/exchanges to participate in and, since I'm largely new to this whole fanart/fic exchange thing I thought it might be a good idea to solicit some suggestions. I'm almost positive I'm entering snapelyholidays. Any others that you fine folks think that I should sign up for?

fiendish_thingy @ 2009-08-20T08:40:00

2009-08-20T16:05:49Z

Posting from the toad, so to speak. I'm at the hospital, waiting with Mom for Grandma's CT. I'm fairly certain that most of the people that I might usually text are still asleep. Hell, I think /I'm/ only half awake myself. So that means LJ post to keep me busy!

And as so often happens in hospitals, I keep expecting to see Greg House limping around a corner. Heh.

... Wow. While I was typing Grandma was called back and sent back out. The nurse wasn't kidding when she said that it would take five minutes. And they'll have the results Monday!

ETA: Posting from the ROAD, rather. That's what I get for posting from the iPhone. Thought it was a rather cute typo though so I left it in. (Trevor? Is that you?)

fiendish_thingy @ 2009-08-18T11:29:00

2009-08-18T19:06:49Z

Instead of replying to each comment on my last post, I thought I'd write up an overall gush of appreciation.

You lot are incredible and I truly appreciate the support and loving words that you're all offering me. I returned home late last night from work to find a wealth of encouragement and though there are obviously still issues that I need to work out and words won't reverse Grandma's condition (would that it were so!) I feel so much better today, knowing that I have wonderful friends close at hand. Though my family really does pull together in hard times, support from outside of the family tree is indispensable.

I've only known some of you since Azkatraz but I still consider you all close friends. Rest assured that my ears are open if ever you need to vent and my shoulder's free to cry on. Again, I can't really say how much I appreciate the support, given how depressed and relatively isolated I've been feeling in regards to some of this stuff lately.

So, suffice to say, much love to you guys. :) :)

Marked.

2009-08-14T18:50:26Z

Prelude to a real Dark Mark?

Eee.

2009-08-13T17:46:53Z

I haven't been around much, it's true. Suffice to say, I've got quite a lot on my mind these days and I'm going a little mad. But this isn't a Wangsy Post[tm]. This is a Happy Post[tm].

I finally got my non-disclosure agreement for my concept art gig. :D :D :D

It came in the mail yesterday. So... I can't give details now -- officially -- but I have a concept art gig for a TV show that's in pre-production. This shiz is happening, yo. And I'm elated.

fiendish_thingy @ 2009-08-13T09:19:00

2009-08-11T15:20:34Z

Tremble in fear. This was taken on one of my work days between Az and Comic-Con so I I still had the blue-black hair.

Brain-breakage under the cut.

I think that the general consensus among those who have seen this is that Severus has clearly hit rock bottom and a.) has had to resort to playing the bartending hussie in back alley pubs in Diagon (or Knockturn?) Alley or b.) has been forced into, what was it? Some sort of prostitution ring that caters to the elderly.

Either way... O_O

I forgot to post the non-mask doodads :D

2009-08-11T03:42:03Z

I don't have pictures of most of them but suffice to say I have a lot of snakey items -- clasps and a heavy red-eyed pendant-like thing that will likely be transformed into some sort of decorative clasp for a cloak for next year. But this! I thought ahead with this one and snapped a picture before I took out out of its packaging.

For obvious reasons it reminded me of alabastard. ;)

I love that the company's name has something to do with Manors. Oh God, I'm a geek.

fiendish_thingy @ 2009-08-10T10:04:00

2009-08-10T19:01:25Z

Grandma's eye is getting better -- looking much more pink than red today. So that's good.

And so my thoughts turn to all things Death Eater. I have an unfinished scene between my Snape and suspenders4cats's Rookwood on Nexus. More quasi-familial chastisement to come. Woot. Perhaps we'll try to finish that today, seeing as today happens to be one of my off-days for the week. And then Snape needs to get down to instructing his new protege. Mwaha. Oh, how I love crazy little Dezzie. And //then//. Then perhaps I'll get around to paying attention to some of my other characters. Heh. I need to create a few more too -- I'm still thinking of specifics for Lottie's sibling, D! :)

I'm hoping to break ground on my first shot at a DE mask. This will be the Cellu-clay version. Next will be Paper Clay. And then, //then// if I get really crazy I might try casting one in fiberglass, since a co-worker suggested -- and then instructed me on -- using the material. I dunno. It all depends on how the others turn out and how antsy I get waiting for my next chance to don my costume. :| In any case, here are the materials that I've amassed thus far, many of which I don't //strictly// know what to do with yet even though I've nearly finalized my design. (I just have a feeling that I'll use them!

And here's the final-ish design. The Penultimate Design, if you will -- because I figure I'll probably change things here and there as I'm actually making the thing. I'm going to draw on the 'etched line patterns' with my metal stylus, I think. But I'm open to suggestions! This is just the concept, after all.

Az pics on the way. I swear. I just need to get off my butt and finish scanning/uploading.

fiendish_thingy @ 2009-08-06T09:05:00

2009-08-06T16:26:57Z

So we know what's up with my grandmother's eye now, since Mom took her in while I was at work (where I vented again and was psycho-analyzed a bit by a co-worker). I over-reacted a little, I suppose. It's a burst blood vessel. But yesterday I got a good look at it and I can understand why Mom freaked out. It looks... Well, it'd be a bit masochistic to say it looks pretty but it's certainly striking. I'm just glad that it's not hurting or irritating her. Now we just have to wait for it to heal up. Mom also asked about the recent issues that Grandma's been having with moving around/forgetting //how// to move or walk/shaking. No definite answer yet, as she's going to be referred to a neurologist in the next few days, but I guess that one of the first things that came to the doctor's mind was Parkinson's. We shall see what happens.

I was still a bit bummed when I returned home from work last night... so (after spending a little time with the family) I set off for Home Depot to browse for, of all things, supplies for the DE Snape mask I've got in the works. Mwaha. I'm rather excited.

And since I feel I've been pretty heavy lately -- I'm not usually so depressive and neurotic, or at least not so blatantly so, I swear -- here's a non-angsty picture or three. Of my dog. Being a dork. Because I think she's adorkable and she makes me smile.

Just a thought...

2009-08-03T17:11:49Z

So. I'm considering getting another tattoo. I //almost// got it at Azkatraz but then the alcohol wore off and I got cold feet. But... well, does anyone have personal experience with glow in the dark/UV reactive tattoos? I'm google-researching now and I plan to ask my tattoo artist when next I get the chance to visit his shop. This won't be immediate of course, seeing as I need cash to //get// said tat. But I'm all about planning for these things.

fiendish_thingy @ 2009-08-02T10:54:00

2009-08-02T18:04:53Z

... ... ...

I feel like such a Muggle.

My wand seems to have vanished and I'm left heartsick. I actually had a dream that I found it in my car, under a seat with the tip snapped off... but I was still thrilled that I found it. Meh. In any case, I plan on searching everywhere today and if all else fails I shall purchase a replacement from Alivan's or go down to Whimsic Alley to browse in person. But I really want //my// wand back. Wish me luck.

(Accio Wand?)

Stuffity Stuff

2009-08-01T19:39:08Z

I have the feeling that I'm forgetting to comment on someone's journal... somewhere. Ah well. So much to say, so little time.

I woke up with a headache today -- I sympathize, Droxy. :\ I'm currently trying to drown it in coffee, citrus cupcakes and Motrin. Let's see what happens.

My good friend Chi is coming over today! :D I am going to art it up with her, as she's finishing a bit of fan-art that she'd promised to someone ages ago. I'll be starting on a couple commissioned portraits that I'll probably end up posting here eventually. I'm rather excited. I might also take her out to see the Mission Inn, as it quite thoroughly rocks my socks.

More convention pics coming soon. I just need to get up the energy to scan the rest of them. Why oh why didn't I have my digital camera with me? I can't wait to post some of the Comic-Con ones. I literally LOL'd as I flipped through some. Let's just say that I dueled some interesting people. XD

I'm also trying to get back into the swing of RP. At this point, I think I've probably timed out on my Guy Gardner app that I'd started on before all the craziness of July. Ah well. Perhaps I'll try again when things finally calm down again... whenever that'll be. In the meantime, I managed to get a few scenes in the other day, to reassure my RP buddies that I'm Not Dead Yet. My Snape now has a protege of sorts. Mwahahaha. And suspenders4cats's Rookwood is digging himself into a deeper and deeper hole. XD Not with me personally or with my characters but... once we get a Voldemort on the game, he's going to be in a World of Pain.

Also, just to get it off my chest...

Despite the fact that I've been back from the conventions for several days -- nigh on a week! -- now, I'm still reacquainting myself with Life Outside of FanGeekery; I have to occasionally remind myself that, yes, such a thing does exist. My grandmother is... not doing well. Not to say that this is a new development, as I'd posted about her failing health a few days ago. She's having more frequent problems with her motor skills, however, to the effect that she sometimes forgets how to walk and ends up just standing there, confused, until a family member prompts her to move this leg and then that.

Some days are better than others but I guess that last night was extremely bad -- I was out of the house. Mom was home alone with Grandma and there was a bit of a reprise of an incident that'd happened near the end of our Seattle visit. My grandmother was not only unable to sort out how to get in and out of the shower/walk around, etc., she was //terrified// of falling. In Seattle, Mom had me around to lend as much help as I could. Last night she was alone and it apparently took her an hour to get Grandma from one point to another in the house that are all of four yards (absolute max) apart. Eesh. Hopefully we'll be able to sort out what's happening soon. Needless to say, I'm concerned.